Mimi

When I was little...and my grandmother would come over to visit...she would always ask us to play the piano...and I would always moan and groan about it. I wish I could go back and change that. We used to go places with her or to her house all the time...so many of my childhood memories invole my Mimi. She lived with us for a few years before she passed away...and for this I am thankful. She used to play solitaire in her room...a lot...and after she died, there was more than one occasion that I could here her cards flipping...one of those times...it was so audible that I went to her room to see if she was there. I also had dreams about her all the time...but she would never talk to me...I would follow her around the house, but could never get her attention. Then, when I was in college...I dreamed she sat next to me on my bed in my dorm room...she told me it was OK to say good-bye...and I have not dreamed of her since. When Kerry and Riley were born...I cried because they would never know my grandmothers. When Kerry was just learning to talk...she went to a picture my parents keep on the fridge of Mimi and her boys...she pointed at Mimi...and said, "Mimi"...and I remember wondering if Mimi had come to visit her dreams, too. My dad is the youngest of four boys...Mimi loved her boys...and they loved her like good boys should:) Mom and Dad found one of her Bibles this weekend...and Mom gave it to me tonight. Inside...written on 3 or 4 pages of little stationary...was the story of her life. The sight of her handwriting...that I remember so well...almost immediately brought me to tears. She wrote about her parents...how her dad was a good man and loved to tease...I wondered if when she watched my dad with his kids...if it reminded her of him. She wrote about a family of imaginary bears that she used to play with when she was little...and how her sister gave her a little family of bears when she had her first son. She wrote how she lost one of her sisters...and one of her sons when he was 3 months old. She wrote about her sons, including my dad...and called them "good boys"...and they are. She wrote about her siblings...one of whom was a POW in WWII. And she talked about Granddaddy. My Granddaddy. I never literally knew Granddaddy...he died the day after my 1st birthday...but I have always felt close to him. Mimi and my parents would talk about him often...and I am so glad they did. There has always been a part of my heart that is his. I used to look at the sky and talk to him when I was little...because I knew he was up there watching me. And I think the thing that kept me from being just a complete mess when she passed away was the knowledge that she would finally get to see him again. A few weeks before she passed away...she came and sat next to me...told me how much she missed him...and how much he loved me. He had been gone for 16 or 17 years at this point...but was still very much a part of who she was. And in her little notes about her life...she talked about being married to Gordon P. Duff...and then she simply says, "Still miss him." Needless to say...I have had myself a good cry tonight. I have an amazing family...I had two amazing grandmothers...I wish I could have had more time with them...I wish my children could know them. I am so very thankful to my God that will let me see them again some day.